Success Stories

Relationship Marketing Weekly: Sales Psychologist

This week’s Relationship Marketing Weekly features Sales Psychologist Dr. Nancy Zare.  Learn how she helps her clients prepare for the first time they meet with someone, build rapport quickly, effectively, and authentically, as well as get a 2nd chance with the clients that get away. She’ll explain how she personally leverages a relationship marketing strategy in her practice. She’ll share two incredible stories that have resulted in $20,000 in business in the first two months of 2018!

Kody Bateman: Hey everybody. This is Kody Bateman coming to you live out of Salt Lake City, Utah. Welcome to this week’s edition of Relationship Marketing Weekly show.

We are really super excited about this show today. I’ve got a very special guest on the call today coming all the way from Massachusetts. Her name is Nancy Zare and she wanted to make sure I said, “Nancy Zare rhymes with ‘care’.” That was super cool.

Nancy Zare is a sales psychologist based out of Massachusetts. Nancy, welcome to the show today.

Nancy Zare: Hey, thank you Kody. I appreciate it.

Kody: Nancy Zare rhymes with care. That’s super cool. So yeah, we have people that are kind of chiming in right now. Give them a second to come in. They’re saying hello to us. We will just kind of say hi back. We have people coming in from all over – really all over the world right now. I’ve noticed some people from Australia, New Zealand, mostly in the United States and Canada.

You got to love technology, how everybody just kind of comes together for these shows and a lot of people can’t make it on the live show. But they will get on the show throughout the next several days. So there’s going to be a lot of viewers on here. I know a lot of people are very excited to hear from you.

In fact, whenever you say, OK, Dr. Nancy Zare, a sales psychologist, I mean those are two of my favorite things. I love sales and I love psychology. So when I know I’m going to talk to a sales psychologist, it’s like wow! What is a sales psychologist?

Nancy: So I think I have made up that term because I am a psychologist with a PhD. I’m also a person with over 25 years of sales experience, both business to business and business to consumer sales.

So when I started my business five years ago, Rapport Builderz, and I end it with a Z for Zare that rhymes with care, Rapport Builderz, I combined my two passions just like you. I love psychology. I love trying to understand how people behave, what makes them tick and at the same time, I know that sales is such an important skill. All of us sell, even when we don’t think we’re selling.

Kody: Right.

Nancy: When we are influencing our child to pick up their clothing or do homework or negotiating with the – our spouse or a partner about where to eat, all of this is sales.

Kody: That’s right.

Nancy: So I help people get into the mind of the prospect and speak their language, so that they open the door to good negotiations.

Kody: That is super cool. So like – so I’m in sales and you might take me on as a client. You’re basically a coach helping me to become a better salesperson and I think a lot of it speaks for itself in the name of your company Rapport Builderz.

So you basically teach salespeople how to build rapport and by building rapport, obviously it makes you better at sales and providing service for people. So how do you go about – you know, let’s say that I come to you and say, “Hey, Nancy. I’m in the relationship marketing business. I sell relationship marketing tools to businesses on how to follow up with clients,” and I’m going to go call on – let’s say I’m going to go call on car dealerships and it’s – the people that I call on are in my cool market.

So I know them and they know of me, but they don’t necessarily know and like me yet. So a warm market person I would consider to be someone that already knows, likes and trusts me. Those are people that it’s pretty easy for me to get in and have a connection with.

The cool market are people that may know me or I may slightly know them. I’ve met them somewhere or whatever. The like and trust part is not quite there yet. So I got to still warm that person up. But I’m going to call on them and go in and see if I can be of service to them.

So how would you coach me on how to go in and meet – like I make the appointment. I go meet with the owner of the car dealership. He’s in my cool market. So I know a little bit about him, but not much. What would you teach me to do? How should I approach that guy?

Nancy: Even before you made that first appointment Kody, if you were my client, I would have coached you and prescribed to you what style this person was, personality style, so that you could know what approach to make. Should you email him? Should you make a phone call? Should you send a text message?

There are different ways that each person wants to receive information and process it. So I probably would have given you some guidance before you even made that first appointment.

But assuming that you’re there at the appointment, again some research, some homework ahead of time. Go on LinkedIn, go on Facebook. Look up this gentleman. Look up the website because there will be clues about the person’s style and how it is you can best approach them.

I am a big believer in the platinum rule and I’m sure you’re familiar with the golden rule. Do unto others as I would want done for myself. Platinum rule reverses it. Do unto others as they want done.

So this makes me have to be sensitive to what that other person wants and I have to put myself in their shoes, look through their lens and speak their language in order to put them at ease, build the trust and open the door to doing business together.

Kody: So what you’re saying is there’s an actual science to the way in which you ought to approach that person in the prospecting process.

Nancy: You know what? I couldn’t have said it better. There is a science and research has been done. It dates back to the era of Hippocrates when he said that there were four temperaments, four different personality styles and lo and behold, here it is back in – where we are today and it still holds true.

Kody: Yeah. So I talk a lot about – and I know there’s a lot of different personality studies out there. There’s the color systems and all that. I really kind of dummy it down. I make it super simple. There’s the right side of the brain, the left side of the brain.

The right side of the brain is big picture, visionary, kumbaya type people and the left side of the brain is more analytical processes. You really do need to know who you’re talking to because if I go in as a right brain person and do my kumbaya, “Hey, the world is wonderful,” to that analytical person, yeah, it’s not going to land real well.

So you have ways that you work with your clients to kind of help them know who they’re talking to.

Nancy: Within 30 to 60 seconds, I help my clients know the answer to whether it’s right brain or left brain, whether they should be singing kumbaya or giving facts and figures.

Kody: Love it, absolutely love it. So you use a relationship marketing system that we offer here. We have a company called SendOutCards and we offer a relationship marketing system and you actually use this system in your own sales and marketing and promoting Rapport Builderz. So tell us just a couple of things that you do, sprinkling relationship marketing into your prospecting.

Nancy: Well, if I may, I’m going to tell a quick story. I go networking as many people do in order to meet new prospects, my cool market. I was at this trade show and at the trade show, there was a demonstration of a product and I received the demonstration and it so happened the owner was there. So she and I struck up a conversation and she said, “Yeah, I could use your services. Call me tomorrow morning.”

Called her tomorrow morning just as she suggested and I got voicemail. Not uncommon, right? And a couple of days later because she hadn’t followed up, I was about to call again when I said, “I’ve got this system of appreciation.” She gave me a service.

Why don’t I send a card and brownies not just for her, but for the entire staff? And I did and approximately a week later, just the day that you would have thought the delivery would have happened, I got a call and she said, “You’re hired.” I hadn’t even told her what my price was.

Kody: Wow. And it was a pretty sizable order.

Nancy: It was a $10,000 piece of business that year.

Kody: So again the power of the brownies. This is the power of sending those brownies, I’m telling you. Yeah, that’s really cool. So it’s interesting because a lot of times we talk around here a lot about the power of the tangible touch.

A lot of times, we – people are used to lots of phone calls, lots of voicemails, lots of emails, lots of anything digital. There’s a lot of. I mean you just have to filter through that stuff. But it’s so unusual to get the tangible touch in the real mail, especially when brownies are attached.

Nancy: Yes.

Kody: And again talk about rapport building. It’s just there’s some instant rapport building on now, which is really good. So you also – so you do a lot with – so you do a lot with thank-you cards not only after you get business, but this example is you send a thank-you card prior to getting business.

Nancy: And I really want to emphasize that Kody because I then learned from that – my own experience and so about a month later, I again was networking, met a gentleman. He too said, “Call me the next morning. I’m interested.” But I didn’t call him the next morning.

Instead, that evening, I went home and I sent the card and brownies and sure enough, I also got hired. So I’m a big believer of paying it forward and being generous and again not self-promotion, but appreciation and acknowledgement goes a huge way to getting business.

Kody: OK. So I’m really interested. You gave two examples. The first example, you made the phone call, left a voicemail and then sent the card and brownies. The second example, it was the office that you sent the card and brownies first.

Can you – because people ask me this all the time. When do you do it this way? When do you do it that way? How did you know to send it either way in those cases? Was it just a hunch? How did you determine to send the card first on one of them and make a phone call first on the other one?

Nancy: So my business coach and hopefully other people use coaches. I use – I have several coaches. My business coach let me know that – what is the lifetime value of a customer? So if the lifetime value of a customer say over – maybe you provide a service and it’s worth $1000 and the person stays with you for five services. So it’s $5000 of business over a period of time.

Well, he told me that I could spend up to $5000 to attract somebody to me because then it would be a breakeven point. Well, you know, $5000 buys a lot of cards and brownies.

Kody: It sure does.

Nancy: And I’m not saying that’s how much a lifetime value is of a client for any one of us. But think – do the math for yourself. Chances are that a card and brownies, about $10, that’s an amazing investment to get back X amount of dollars of business, not just once but over the lifetime of your customer. Of course I continue to send cards and brownies.

May I also say that that second example Kody – and I personalize my cards. I go to Facebook and I get a picture, usually their cover picture. Well, in this particular case, the second case I mentioned, the only picture I could find of this individual was with his children. I could not find a solo picture.

I was a little hesitant about mixing business with personal family stuff. But it was his only picture and I took – like you said, I took the risk and I had already had that conversation. I knew he was a good person that way.

He has that to this day hung on his bulletin board and it made me realize in this digital age as you said, we have so few tangible pictures of our children. So of course this Christmas, I sent him an updated picture of his kids because kids grow.

Kody: You know, it’s interesting. You talk about – a lot about the power of that thank-you card and it’s interesting coming from you, the rapport builder queen. I mean you’re the rapport builder queen, right? I mean you teach people how to build rapport.

Ninety-seven percent of businesspeople never send a thank-you card but yet it’s proven that it’s the most effective touch you can send to a prospect or a customer. Here’s what’s interesting. Of the 3 percent that do send thank-you cards, only 10 percent of those send a thank-you card in the prospecting process.

So even the people that have caught on to the power of the thank-you card, for some reason, they’re not sending it in the prospecting phase, which I think is really important and I’m sure you teach that is you got to build rapport with a person prior to the appointment.

The warmer – so there’s cold market people that don’t know you at all. There’s cool market people that know of you but don’t like and trust you yet and then there’s warm market people that know, like and trust you already.

The whole process of prospecting I think is to get people from cold to cool and get people from cool to warm. The warmer they are, the more rapport you have, right?

Nancy: Yeah.

Kody: Yeah. So that’s – and the warmer they are, the easier the sales process is. I love what you said is part of that is learning the personality style of that person. That’s really powerful. I mean it’s just powerful stuff.

There’s a lot of other things you do. You mentioned – obviously you do a lot of thank-you cards. You look for Facebook events and you do impromptu cards. Can you share just an example of those?

Nancy: Yeah, I definitely believe in impromptu cards. You know, you wrote the book Promptings and it speaks to me and indeed I try to follow this prompting. So throughout the day, throughout the week, people come to mind, past clients, current clients, friends, family members, business colleagues and I like to send cards all the time.

Last night, it was a great example. I was again at an event and I met somebody and I came home after the event, went to Facebook, grabbed a picture, put it in a card and you know, a few days later, he will be surprised by it.

A new acquaintance. I don’t even know that we will ever do business together. That wasn’t the point. The point is to build the relationship and sometimes we can be so tunnel-visioned that it’s only the person we think can help us and that’s the one we’re going after. But you know what? He has a network of 250 or more people he knows and for all I know, this – as we build that relationship, he will open the door and he holds the key to many rooms that I haven’t visited yet.

So that’s what relationship marketing is all about. You focus on the relationship and marketing the sales takes care of itself.

Kody: Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. That’s very, very powerful. Well, Dr. Nancy Zare, rhymes with care, we’re so glad that you’re on the show today. It’s time for us to wrap up. I always like to ask a final question. Any final words of wisdom from you? Anything that you would like to share with this audience today? That’s how we will close, so go ahead.

Nancy: I truly want to share with you from my heart that when I first heard about this appreciation marketing system, honestly I didn’t get the appreciation part of it. I got the marketing and I thought, “Oh, it’s about self-promotion. Isn’t that wonderful?” and we could put branding on the back too.

Well, guess what. I found out that it’s about the appreciation and if I can just encourage you to take the risk, to not think about what’s in it for me, but simply to give from your heart the promptings, whatever, pay it forward, I promise you, I promise you, it will come back in spades.

Kody: Well, you’ve all just heard that. That’s from Dr. Nancy Zare with Rapport Builderz out of Massachusetts. Thank you so much for being on our show with us today, Nancy. We appreciate …

Nancy: My pleasure.

Kody: … you very much and God bless everybody out there. Listen, at the end of the day, we’re trying to teach people how to be nice to each other. That’s what we do here and we need a lot more of that in the world today. I was – my wife and I went out for Valentine’s last night. We got smart. We go the night before now instead of on Valentine’s with the rush and we were waiting in line to get into the restaurant, a real popular restaurant in Downtown Salt Lake City and we got a conversation going with an older couple who both had been psychotherapists for the past 40 years, living in New York City and they now live in Utah.

It was fascinating to have a conversation with these two incredible people who have served the community with their expertise in psychotherapy for all of that time and they were so passionate about sharing the thought that I like to share. They were so passionate about sharing how important it is that we celebrate each other’s differences because that’s what life really is. It’s not about sameness. It’s about differences. Differences and bringing differences together is really what makes the world a special place. It was such a wonderful thing to hear them share that. People we didn’t know but were just delightful.

So anyway, God bless everybody. Appreciate you all and we will see you next week on another version of this show. Take care everybody.


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